Outward
Looking up
is looking out -
out into or with the past
when tightly packed matter crushed
one another into now
and became stone water roofing shingles
the odd rack and hue of color
You can not
look far enough
to see the edge -
as perhaps a Greek sailor
once thought was the boundary of knowing
afraid to fall off
into unknowing
upsetting beliefs held close
in lieu of fact
the mind not grasping emptiness
Looking out
is looking up -
so deep the seconds minutes days
gaze of it
stops Time
which does not flow
like water through fingers
just slips away
from a point of reference
which we can not connect
with gravity yet
a falling down
a motion equal to
feathers or lead or grace
This looking
is looking at the past -
comings and goings
and we will return
to the start of it
never reaching the beginning
which is the past
but only farther
Worry
I worry too much
worry is the mind killer
I know it isn't good
to worry over things
I have no control of
but I do
I worry my truck
will die somewhere
where I can't retrieve it
I worry over women
I worry over burying my sons
I worry over getting rid of
all the shit my father
has accumulated
in the last 60 years
I worry over finding
a full time job
a steady shot of leg
my next beer
or keeping my motorcycle
I worry my feet stink
my breath stinks
losing my wife
the man she will meet
the woman I will not
I have to take those
deep cleansing breaths
to calm myself down
in order to see Reality as it is
& I don't like what I see
I don't want to be the
pillar of my family
or think I am
when my parents pass
I worry over worry
when it will stop
why it will stop
I worry about you
who reads this
& will think I'm nuts
when I'm only stating
what you are thinking
I worry there is no time left
to do those things
I feel that are important
like passing on the joy of sex
the joy of holding
a newborn in your arms
or the light you see
in the eyes of someone
who understands that
you are just a human being
coping with life
I just want to be left alone
to be the man I want to be
& then it passes
& then it is crystal clear
what I have to do
live
