MY LOVE
Helen was having a hard time leaving her husband alone for
the night. She could not seem to make her way out the door. “Honey, are
you sure? I wouldn’t go, but Ned just seems to need me tonight.”
“Sure, sure,” said Wayne. “I’m just tired, Honey, really. I just want
to watch a little TV and go to bed.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, sure I’m sure, Honey. Just go. Have a nice time. I don’t care,
Hon. Really.”
“Well,” she hesitated for a moment more. “You know there’s a TV dinner
in the fridge if you get hungry.”
“Ah, I’m not hungry. I’ll be fine.”
“Well if you think it’s okay. You can always call me, you know.”
“I know, Hon. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay. I’ll be back with you tomorrow night.”
He looked up. “Be sure and tell Ned that joke I told you last night.
He’d like that.”
“I will. He’s so sweet. He’s just lonesome tonight, and so depressed.”
“Honey, the door. It’s making me cold.”
“Okay. Well, bye, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
She stepped out of the room and closed the door.
It would be a peaceful night, just the filthy, cluttered house to
himself, and a couple of snorts of Jim Beam, and the TV. There was no
place to sit, actually; all the furniture was piled with years and
years of junk. So many years, in fact, that Wayne could not even
remember. So he did not really miss the comfort of a big, soft easy
chair. He and Helen had managed to hang on to two kitchen chairs in the
inundation of newspapers, objects, garbage bags, stacked TV dinner
trays, and soggy magazines. This was home. This was where Wayne felt
comfortable, and where he belonged.
Ned was Helen’s lover, or boyfriend, or whatever they were together. It
was all perfectly harmless. Ned was just a nice, middle aged guy like
himself, a bit more down on his luck, more prone to alcoholic excess,
prone to epileptic seizures. He was glad Helen had someone in her life
who made her so happy. Usually, on Sunday, the three of them got
together at Ned’s apartment for dinner and a little TV. Ned’s place was
more comfortable. He didn’t own much to clutter everything up, and he
had an old sofa and a La-Z-Boy to sit around on.. Helen had managed to
find Ned an apartment close to their own home, so it was easy to come
and go and to see each other all the time.. It made it convenient when
Helen took off on evenings like these to spend the night with him.
Wayne took a long, slow sip of his drink,. Everything felt so
enjoyable, here in the cave of his kitchen on this chrome and plastic
chair, staring at the tiny TV set just across from him on the portable
dishwasher. Helen and Wayne had stopped using this machine when so many
dirty dishes had gotten stacked on the lid of it, because it was the
kind of washer which opened up from the top. Actually, they had even
stopped using dishes. That is why the empty TV dinner trays were
stacked all over. They were now teetering in extended, precarious
towers in what once had been a living room.
Wayne was just about to tip back in his chair a but and take another
sip of whiskey, when he heard the phone ring.
Damn,” he muttered. “Now who the heck can that be?”
It was probably just one of Helen’s goofy astrology friends, he
decided. He reached down to the floor and picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Wayne? This is Mavis.”
“Who?”
“Mavis. You met me up at the Harvester with Ted the other night.
Remember me?”
“Yeah? Oh, yeah. I guess, sure.”
“Wayne?”
“Yeah?”
This Mavis person sounded a little bit sloshy.
“Wayne, I know something about your wife.”
“My wife?”
“Wayne? I know. Do you know I know?”
Wayne dribbled out a weary chuckle and said, “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’m
kina busy tonight. Maybe I’ll see you again some time at the Harvester,
okay?”
“Wayne? I got something to tell you about your wife. You wanna know?”
Wayne took another sip of his drink, and wished he hadn’t answered the
phone.
“She’s cheating on you, Wayne. Do you know that?”
“Yeah, sure. It’s okay. We’re all friends.”
The woman, Mavis, seemed to cough or grunt or something on the other
end of the line.
“Wayne, I’m coming over to keep you company, because I know you’re all
alone.”
“No, please.”
“No, no. I’m alone, too. Did you know that? Ted told me where you live.
I don’t want you to b alone, okay? Because you’re a handsome sonofagun,
and if your wife can fool around, then you can too., Okay?”
“Look, Myrtle, or what’s your name?”
“Mavis. And I’m gonna take a cab.”
“Mavis, I’m tired, and I just want to go to bed now. I don’t want any
company.”
“I’m coming.” She hung up the phone.
Wayne took another sip of his whiskey and set the telephone back on the
floor. That crazy woman. Wayne hoped she would just forget all about
the call and he could get back to his restful evening. Maybe he would
just stay up for one more show. This was one that he liked, one about a
bended family type sitcom.
Halfway through the program, he heard a knock on the door. It must be
that Mavis
woman, he decided, so he turned the volume down on his TV. Maybe she
would think he had already gone to sleep. He heard her calling to him
through the door.
“Wayne,” she bellowed. “I know you’re in there, Wayne. C’mon, Tiger. I
paid a lotta money for that cab ride. C’mon now, Wayne. I came to visit
you. Waaayne…”
“Oh for Chrissake,” whispered Wayne. He picked his way through the
rubble of the living room, stumbling on a pile of boxes, or magazines,
or whatever, and opened the tiny metal grid at eye level in the door.
Helen call this her go to hell door.
“Stop yelling like that, please?” He peeked out at her through the thin
slats of metal. “What do you want?”
“I wanna come in.”
“I can’t. Helen wouldn’t want anyone to come in. She wants to get
things fixed up a little bit first.”
“So? Helen isn’t here right now.” She weaved a little, and pouted.
“Look. I’ll call you a cab and you can get back to the Harvester, okay?”
“I wanna come in.”
Wayne sighed and opened the door. “Now. See?”
Mavis stepped inside and closed the door behind her.
“This is why Helen doesn’t like anyone to come in here.”
Mavis looked around. She blinked a few times. She started to open her
mouth, and then closed it again.”
Suddenly, the phone rang.
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud.”
Wayne navigated his way back into the kitchen to answer it. Something
got bumped, and an avalanche of newspapers toppled, slipping down onto
the layers of newspapers already on the floor. He bent down to pick it
up.
“Hello? Hello!”
It was Helen. “Wayne!” She was panting. “Quick. Help me. Ned’s had a
seizure.”
“Well then call an ambulance.”
“He’s over it, you knucklehead. We just need your support. You don’t
even know what we’ve been through. You’ve gotta get down here now! Get
down here!”
“All right, all right,” soothed Wayne. “Hang on.” He sighed. “I’m
coming, just hang on.”
He put the phone back down on the floor.
Mavis was still frozen by the door in the living room.
“I gotta go,” Wayne said to her. “Ned’s had a seizure. I’ll take you
back to the Harvester on the way.”
“Who’s Ned?”
“Oh, he’s a friend of ours, Helen’s and mine.”
“Her boyfriend, you mean?”
Wayne steered her out through the front door.
On the way to Ned’s, by way of the Harvester, Mavis started to cry.
Wayne tried to pretend he didn’t notice, maybe she was just being
emotional because she was drunk. Maybe he could find Ted when they got
there, or someone she knew, and she would not feel so sad. But the
little whimpers she commenced with were now turning into sobs.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She snorted a few times. “Nobody loves me.”
“Oh for cryin’out loud, Myrtle, Mavis. It’ll be okay.” He glanced at
her, then back at the steering wheel.
“Here you have a wife who’s cheating on you, and keeps the house like a
garbage dump and you love her, and here I am all alone and I would
never treat a man like you that way and I don’t have anyone.. It just
isn’t fair.” She covered her face with her hands. “And now you’re
dumping me off at some sleazy night spot and you don’t even care.”
“I don’t even know you. But I’m sorry. But Ned had a seizure and Helen
needs me.”
“Here I offered myself to you and wanted to make you happy and you keep
talking about some Ned guy or something.”
He stopped in front of the Harvester. “Now come on. Here. I’ll help you
inside. We’ll get you some coffee, okay?”
“And then you’ll leave me.”
“Mavis, look. I’m married.”
“Well so’s your wife, but that doesn’t stop her!”
“It’s more complicated than that. Ned’s a nice guy.”
“Well I’m a nice lady too, but look how far that gets me. You know what
I mean?”
He helped her out of her side of the car, walked her into the lounge
and spotted his friend Ted at the bar.
“Hey now. There’s Ted. How will that be, huh?”
“I could have made you so happy.” She blew her nose.
“Look. Ted’s coming over right now and he’ll see to it you get taken
care of.”
“I don’t want Ted. I want you.”
“Hi, Ted.” said Wayne, when the friend had approached within hearing.
“Mavis is having a little crying spell, and she needs a friend right
now. Right, Mavis?”
She nodded, wiping her tears like a petulant child.
. “There you go. There, there.”
Soon Wayne was back in his car heading toward Ned’s apartment. When he
arrived, Helen was sitting on an upside down milk carton, right next to
the sofa where Ned lay. She was holding cold compresses up to his
forehead.
“My God, Wayne,” she groaned. “What took you so long?”
“Oh. I hurried as fast as I could. How’s he doing? Hi, Ned. Sorry about
the seizure.”
Ned lifted up an enfeebled hand to wave from where he lay.
Helen said, “Wayne, we need more cigarettes.”
“Right now?”
“Naw, naw, we don’t need them, Helen ,” Ned drawled. “Leave the man
alone. I got
some in the top drawer over there.”
“Well how am I supposed to know?” Helen turned to look at her husband.
“Wayne, it was terrible. He turned gray. I could tell it was going to
happen. I ran and got a towel for him.. I said “Ned? Ned?”
“Oh, Christ, Helen. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Wayne? It was just a
little one. Helen’s got it all blown out of proportion.”
“Wayne, it was. Don’t listen to Ned.”
“It was not!”
“How would you know, Buster? You weren’t the one who had to handle this
whole thing. You were completely and totally out of it.”
Wayne settled himself into the La-Z-Boy chair across from the sofa and
felt like closing his eyes.
Helen went on. “You weren’t taking your Dilantin like you were supposed
to, now were you, Ned?”
“Oh, Dilantin schmantin.”
“Now Ned? How many times is it going to take to get it through that
thick head of yours?”
“Oh, for Chrissake.”
“Wayne, tell him that he can’t go around anymore forgetting to take his
Dilantin. Wayne? Tell him.”
“Hey, you want a drink Wayne?” asked Ned.
“Aw, naw, I’m kind of tired. I think I should be getting back home to
bed pretty soon.”
“No way!” blurted Helen. “No way are you leaving me alone with this man
after what I’ve been through with him tonight. You can sleep there.
I’ll set the alarm, you’ll make it, to work all right. I’m not going to
be left alone with this man. This stupid man. He won’t take his
Dilantin.” She turned and looked at Ned. “Dummy!”
“Oh Jeeze. Helen. Christ.”
“Now Ned, I mean it.”
Wayne let his eyes finally come to a darkened peace. It felt nice and
comfortable here, in the La-Z-Boy, and he didn’t think he felt much
like driving any more. Helen was still saying some things to Ned.
She was saying, “And when you’re right in the middle of a sentence, and
your eyes roll back. That’s when I know. You should see yourself…”
“And that time we were in the unemployment line waiting for your check,
well then I knew that if we didn’t get you to a chair and off your
feet, right at that moment…”
Wayne thought briefly about Mavis. He wondered if she had found what it
was she was looking for tonight, or if she ever would. Women like her
were sort of demanding, he reasoned. They could turn into kind of a
pain. He thought he could hear Ned begin to snore. Soon, he felt
something velvety slip in under his chin, and envelope his tired body.
Helen was covering him with a blanket.
“I think Ned will be fine where he is tonight,” she whispered. “He took
his pill an
hour or so ago. I think he won’t have any more trouble. He’ll sleep
okay.”
Wayne nodded. Then, he heard Helen pad her way into Ned’s bedroom and
fumble around with the alarm. Then, he heard the squeak of springs as
she arranged herself in the bed. Then, there was silence.
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