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fuck you no goddamn matter
somewhere cait
reacted to the terrible
news this morning
with a certain amount
of profanity.
ann sd
"that's the way
i feel too,"
in reference
to mcneilley's
very very
early passing.
an internet poetry pioneer.
we were all welcomed by a gracious insider who sacrificed & toiled
within cyberspace stoneyards of literature -- he was us, he was here
before we got here, he sd howdy the water's just fucking peachy lookit
what we got here electrically, man -- a wide soul, a wide expanse of
soul...
i'm hitting the pillow now
5 cans
since 8
2 bowls
thoughts
of mcneilley
yesterday
ghost-like
today
i saw him
i felt him
he was
here
he floated
thousands of
miles in
shreds of a
moment
flew into
my eyes
filled
my
brain
mike
it's
cool
no
matter what
it's cool
we're
ok
it's just so
hard to swallow
you won't be
around here
anymore
in that miracle
of cyberspace
immediacy
suddenly
& fabulously
no
but may
you know
our gratitude
our kiss goodbye
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fuck you why aren't you drinking
mcneilley,
gone,
it
hurts.
stings
around
the hot sandy
banks of eyeballs'
vast oceans
salt
because i
stood
in the
shower
&
cried
after
work
& ann
was gentle
& saddened
& i'm
just
getting
drunker
& more
pissed
off --
rising in the afternoon
i keep saying
mcneilley
mcneilley
mcneilley
over & over
thru my
head. why
in all hell
it's so
stupidly sunny
today
when rain
like the rains
of washington state
wld wash us
of these
zombie bodies
& we'd
close drapes
we'd lock
doors
we'd start
working on a
half-gallon
of whiskey
or something
equally
narcotic
i light
a candle
with my coffee
to burn
sunlight
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