cait collins venis with a p www.MS-allthat.com/ member: warm arts caitcollins@the-hold.com

male nurse this sux nobody's here that was here before at the gynecologists office Dr. Love died last October complications to a bad heart and all of the regular nurses are gone too this male nurse assigned to my examination room waltzes in fag-like holding a clipboard full of preexamination questions to be answered before my reexamination he has no hair on his head his eyes are crossed under his specs his arms and legs are short and evidently so is his temper plus his zipper is only halfway zipped (dork! A class A candidate ha!) he went down the list: “do you eat paint chips laundry detergent, liquid, solid or otherwise...” “ain’t that stuff on record already…burp!?” I said/asked “…cornstarch raw chicken red meat…” ”does that include chicken breasts fingers legs thighs freezer burnt butts…” “we are updating your information file you will have to cooperate and answer these questions before the doctor comes for your examination…” he stared at me with nasty attitude eyes and he tapped the top of the clipboard with the pencil “fine. but can we do this following the check-up after all, I’m layin’ here a draft breezin’ through my pubes I didn’t have time to shave and I hafta pee but I can hold it…” I lifted the purple speckled paper robe slipped my hand down there and held my crotch he veered over his specs ignored me and went on… “look, I have other patients to attend …now do you have or have you had hemorrhoids or a problem with constipation diarrhea or any other bowel discomforts or any unrecognizable discharges… gawd heheh! I chuckled under my breath “have you had sex recently and what kind?…” “look kojak head…dr. ruth hopetobe in answer to all of your questions in order: no no no no no no no and no - I eat out - as for the other: anal oral vaginal tongue toe and cheek massage on top underneath missionary way doggie style suspended from things upsidedown always tho with a man and/or woman and the brush burn on my ass was caused by scootin’ along a worn rug in the crab position I don’t have frequent blasts of gas I don’t break out with anything peculiar and by the way XYZ!” “xyz?” he asked. xamine yer zipper!

we dined
at Skewers
a gay café
along Santa Monica Blvd.
in west Hollywood
the entire town was
that way the
tiny place was dark
lit romantic dinner candles
centered
atop
plain white-paper'd tablecloth'd tables my
girlfriend and i tagged
along
with 2 gayguyfriends we
ordered drinks and
a medley of
kabobs the kabobs
had strange things i
didn't recognize
pierced
through the rod of the skewer
in between every
other chicken and filet mignon
piece of
meat
I didn't eat
the strange things i
slid them off
the shaft
with my fork
slipped them across
the table
onto the plate
of one of
the gayguyfriends

I looked
around the café at
the paintings on the walls
the paintings on the walls weere
mostly odd
abstract
flowers flowers
on canvas
then we all looked and
noen of us liked
the queer
flowers
in the pictures but
one painting
stuck out like a
hard-on
down
the other end
of the café even
in the dim light it
hung
proud like
a masters
piece
the portrait
was a painting
of a naked man
crackled within
muscles a million
years
old

our gayguyfriends
wanted a shot and
i had my camera
and i walked
to the other end
near
the entrance
to the kitchen through
dinky tables
busy
with sets of gay guy lovers
holding
manhands kissing manlips
wééé oui gay Parééééé! and
they looked as
I passed
probably wondering
if I could haven been
a transvestite cross-
dresser tho I wasn't
dressed as
elegant

I had a good
angle
crosswise
from the painting and
I pointed pressed
the button and
a lady wrapped
half-assed
in a grubby waist
apron ran
in my direction
covered the lens
with her hand and
whispered in my ear

"no! no!
no! you no can
take pictures in here" she
spoke with a strange foreign accent heavy
with spicy breath and
she had a funny foreign face that
matched

"I am an amateur
photographer..." I explained
"I'm visiting I
like that painting and
I want a shot..."

"you can buy it..." she uttered-
louder -
"...cheap!"

"are you trying
to get rid of
it it
looks expensive but
very old."

"the paintings on these walls
are for purchase not for
picture taking."

"well, I don't have any money and
my friends have
just enough to pay
for
the SUPERB kabobs you
serve here but say
if I can't get
a shot
of the painting could
I
at least
shoot some
'scenes from behind'?" I asked and
I turned focused
toward the cooking area
her hand
flashed in front of the camera as the
flash
flashed

"no..! she shouted abruptly
"...take that take that then!" and
she pointed to the picture of the portrait
on the wall

I got the shot
thanked
the lady and
she disappeared
behind
the scenes

we finished
our drinks our kabobs
and later
I found out
the strange
things
in between
my meat
were chunks
of tomatoes and
squash

  

• messageboard    • kent index   • hold index ©cait collins / the-hold.com 2001 unauthorized use is prohibited.